It is my civic duty to scout this shit out.

Don’t ask me how or why I do it, as some things are best left between myself and my MacBook. However, during one of my recent treks (and this is to your benefit), I’ve come across what might be the single most groundbreaking pre-teen pop trio who have one song to their name which happens to be about wanting to play videogames – in history.

*breath*

Their name is Black Out, and they’re concurrently the greatest and worst thing that has ever happened to me.

There’s something inherently cute about one of their parents being so overly proud as to set up their own website, and if the games ended there it would merely be cute, albeit in a kind-of desperate way. Like Voxtrot. But for the love of fuck, look at the video for their first (and only!) song, featured on the front of their home page. Christ, man, that thing has better production values than some network television shows. And the theater they rented out and filled with fellow pre-teens wearing neon-glow-whateverthefucks on their head? Yeah, check out the image section. It’s the VIRGINIA STATE THEATRE. Either one of these kiddo’s parents has money literally flowing out of their assholes or there’s literally no other bands in their town. It’s also apparently normal for a massively-popular band to get flanked by paparazzi while walking down a cramped corridor? Really?

The song itself? Yeah.

“I don’t wanna go to school

I just wanna be a fool

I just wanna play video games

Everything else is really lame”

It doesn’t help matters much that the poor kid’s voice somehow sounds like a more-retarded Daniel Johnston while taking a shit made of cement and failure.

“Gamecube, XBox, PlayStation 2 / Know all about them – as soon as they’re new”

Well if I do my math correctly, Mr. 11-Year-Old Lead Singer, you’d have been four years old when PS2 came out. You didn’t know anything besides dicking around with legos and contributing to your mother’s Depression. But seriously, no love for Wii, 360, or PS3? PC? Don’t tell me you don’t even play Starcraft or CS or WoW. Madden sure is fun, eh.

*ruffles hair*

But really, who doesn’t JUST WANNA PLAY VIDEOEOOOGAAASMMEEESSSS?

• Black Out Band – Video Games  (YouTube)

Sam Beam sighted at local Publix with shopping cart full of soup

Thirteen-year-old designs computer program that writes Old 97′s songs for class project

Rivers Cuomo still not sorry

Morrissey fills home swimming pool with dove feathers

If you’re at all hip to the jive that is Buzz Out Loud, you’d know that Veronica Belmont has recently left to join the Jason Calacanis upstart Mahalo.com, a human-powered search engine. Because Yahoo! didn’t do that in 1996. Granted, it’s in its Alpha stage, but the site is clunky and ugly and the whole ship is damned from the start due to its antiquted and somewhat pretentious gimmick. I’d hate to even fathom the cash that Calacanis threw Belmont’s way to host a daily videocast on the site, but I have to admit that it’s a good idea. One of the key things that Mahalo needs to separate it from the dozens of more-efficient search engines is a face; a human feel. And the very thing that drew myself and many others to the Buzz Out Loud podcast was Veronica’s approachable, amicable nature. She’s smart and articulate enough to inform but with a fun personality that can at once carry a conversation as well as entertain – something that’s painfully lacking from many podcasts and I’m looking at you, Laporte. She’s savvy no doubt, and with a little more confidence and good execution I think she’ll be able to give Mahalo the identity it needs.

Good luck V, we’re all rooting for you.

• Veronica Belmont Leaves CNet – A Retrospective (Youtube)

I wish there were a word to accurately describe how long it’s been since a new Weakerthans record. There’s not, but there are three words to accurately describe how long it’s been since a new Weakerthans record: “Four Fucking Years.” Far too long for one of the best rock bands of the past decade. It wasn’t even a week ago that I was spinning Reconstruction Site in my car thinking how much of a bummer it was that these guys were done; little did I know.

Reunion Tour is the completely-awesome-Canadian-band-that-trumps-nearly-all-other-Canadian-bands-cough-Stars-cough’s first album since 2003′s aforementioned Reconstruction Site. It’s out September 25th on Epitaph, the new song is fantastic – and I’m glad to have them back. Cheers, guys.

• The Weakerthans – “Night Windows (MP3)

Twlight Sad to be featured in forthcoming episode of “My Super Sweet Sixteen”

Alec Ounsworth finally gets Chestburster from Alien out of throat, notices skip in step

Nick Drake doing “just fine”

Ironic 1st-grader wears Broken Social Scene t-shirt

“The Bravery”

Stephen Malkmus, world-renowned left-fielder and power hitter for the San Francisco Giants and former frontman of seminal rock band Pavement, is inching ever closer to the all-time MLB home-run record currently held by Henry Aaron.

Tonight’s Giants home game against the Florida Marlins will not only give Malkmus the home field advantage, but extra incentive to finally get the job done in front of a sold-out home crowd. He is one home run away from tying, and two away from breaking the all-time record.

During early practice this morning, Malkmus declined comment, but fellow outfielder Randy Winn offered the following: “I don’t even fucking know this guy. Am I the only fucking person who thinks this isn’t funny? Why are you guys being such dicks to me, it’s not funny anymore. No one but me even mentions where Ba-“ but was quickly silenced by a looming stare from a bat-toting Malkmus thirty feet away.

Malkmus has been embroiled in controversy the past few years, mainly to allegations regarding alleged steroid use. Many have claimed that, if Malkmus indeed breaks Aaron’s record, it would be invalid, tainting the record books. Regarding the controversy, former Pavement member Mark Ibold, when asked for comment, believes Malkmus “is what?…he’s…what?”

The San Francisco Giants host the Florida Marlins tonight, 6pm PST.

Tegan, Sara gently suckle on teats; situation rapidly progresses

Sufjan Stevens demands to know where the motherfucking party at

Stranded in rainstorm, Kanye West begins to melt; turns into frog

John Vanderslice drives toward New York City skyline, notices “something missing”

Dan Deacon not real

01 – Aaron & Maria

The July issue of Filter had a pretty, well-put-together feature interview with a young, pretty, well-put-together little songstress named Annie Clark – better known as the fantastic St. Vincent. I didn’t read it, but I did hang its glossy pages on my wall. Not long after, it was announced that she’d be setting up The National on the autumn leg of their tour supporting the ubiquitous Boxer. The cogs of hype hath turn.

Her debut record just came out; it’s called Marry Me. Erm, yes please. The first couple of spins recalled an alternate universe where Jolie Holland moved to Paris and dropped the funny drawl. Not too far off: Annie shared a couple dates with Holland earlier in the year. Further listens affirmed this, but unraveled a somewhat more mature, developed nature that a singer this young ought not to even approach, and definitely not on her first record. It’s a beautiful album, swirling and going off in lots of great and interesting directions. “Jesus Saves, I Spend” is metallic and modern and cool; “Paris Is Burning” is chic and god fuck if you don’t crush on Ms. Clark after listening to it, you should probably call an ambulance.

Reccommended Tracks

• Jesus Saves, I Spend
• Paris Is Burning
• The Apocalypse Song

Stream on her MySpace

Holy shit!

The second incarnation of the very much serious and not-at-all-freeform music/tech/GIANT FAGGOT COCKCK satire-blog, sablog/satirog/slog, Killing the Cabinet (henceforth KtC) is live! Internet!1

KtC existed in its original form as a similar, music-based comedy blog from 2004 through 2005. Why did it die of cancer? Because things die of cancer and I fed it cigarettes. But I miss it. I went to the kennel last Friday and bought a younger, similar-looking blog that is unlikely to die of cancer within the next few years. I will love it and nurture it and feed it and only attempt to have sex with it on my couch once a week and I will name it Tipper oh my god.

My name is Ben, and I, with the occasional exception, will be your host. So welcome to version 2 of this little ride. Put your head down and stop fighting it. Goodbye and hello, as usual.