Rufus Wainwright denies accusations of heterosexual behavior

Sam Beam sighted at local Publix with shopping cart full of soup

Thirteen-year-old designs computer program that writes Old 97’s songs for class project

Rivers Cuomo still not sorry

Morrissey fills home swimming pool with dove feathers

Jay Bennett still pluggin’ along!

Twlight Sad to be featured in forthcoming episode of “My Super Sweet Sixteen”

Alec Ounsworth finally gets Chestburster from Alien out of throat, notices skip in step

Nick Drake doing “just fine”

Ironic 1st-grader wears Broken Social Scene t-shirt

“The Bravery”

Will Oldham dreams of chicken parm sandwich, awakes and orders chicken parm sandwich

Tegan, Sara gently suckle on teats; situation rapidly progresses

Sufjan Stevens demands to know where the motherfucking party at

Stranded in rainstorm, Kanye West begins to melt; turns into frog

John Vanderslice drives toward New York City skyline, notices “something missing”

Dan Deacon not real