Stephen Malkmus, world-renowned left-fielder and power hitter for the San Francisco Giants and former frontman of seminal rock band Pavement, is inching ever closer to the all-time MLB home-run record currently held by Henry Aaron.

Tonight’s Giants home game against the Florida Marlins will not only give Malkmus the home field advantage, but extra incentive to finally get the job done in front of a sold-out home crowd. He is one home run away from tying, and two away from breaking the all-time record.

During early practice this morning, Malkmus declined comment, but fellow outfielder Randy Winn offered the following: “I don’t even fucking know this guy. Am I the only fucking person who thinks this isn’t funny? Why are you guys being such dicks to me, it’s not funny anymore. No one but me even mentions where Ba-“ but was quickly silenced by a looming stare from a bat-toting Malkmus thirty feet away.

Malkmus has been embroiled in controversy the past few years, mainly to allegations regarding alleged steroid use. Many have claimed that, if Malkmus indeed breaks Aaron’s record, it would be invalid, tainting the record books. Regarding the controversy, former Pavement member Mark Ibold, when asked for comment, believes Malkmus “is what?…he’s…what?”

The San Francisco Giants host the Florida Marlins tonight, 6pm PST.